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THE FULLY LIVED LIFE

By March 24, 2014 8 Comments

Fully Lived Life Dr. Merry Lin says, “One of the biggest mental health issues I see on a regular basis isn’t depression or anxiety. Its people who are languishing.”

Languishing is not the presence of mental illness; it’s the absence of mental and emotional vitality. It’s the “winter of your soul.”

The winter of our souls can seem all consuming and never ending.

Dr Lin knows what she’s talking about – she’s been through her own winter.

How Winters Settle Into Your Soul

Focused reflection helped Dr Lin see five things that contributed to the winter of her soul:

* Living a life of ignored introspection.
* Action valued over reflection.
* Rushing through life mindlessly.
* Not growing through her hardships.
* Not knowing that she was stuck or why she was stuck.

10 Statements Of The Languishing

1. I am juggling my responsibilities and feel like I can’t keep up with the demands of life.
2. When I stop I feel emotionally or physically exhausted.
3. I wish I could take a significant break to rest and reflect on my life with some soul-searching.
4. My spiritual life feels dry and lifeless.
5. I have a hard time sensing God’s presence in my life or experiencing His love for me.
6. I seem to struggle with the same issues over and over in my life and don’t know why.
7. I don’t like to think about negative or uncomfortable things for too long and I distract myself to feel better.
8. I’m uncomfortable with strong emotions and would rather focus on practical, sensible things.
9. I feel stuck, knowing I need to make some changes but unsure where to start.
10. People rely on me and think of me as competent, but I don’t know how I feel or if I care anymore.

Read them again. Use the rankings below to evaluate where you are.

1 = not at all true
2 = sometimes
3 = often
4 = most of the time
5 = completely true

If your total score is 10-20 you appear to have good self-awareness. Use the opportunity to truly live out what you know.

If your total score is 21-30 your life could use some improvement. Take a look at the scores of 3 and higher to identify what you need to focus on.

If you total score is 31-50 take heed. Seize this opportunity to re-calibrate your life.

Re-calibrating Your Life

1.  Re-calibration starts by believing God cares about you. He knows where are you and how to move you forward.

2. Ask yourself, “What activities, tasks, or relationships are draining the life away from me?”

Write down everything you’ve done – or tried to do – in the past month – your meetings, tasks, events, responsibilities, connections.

Are these things are sapping your energy or bearing fruit?

3. Address the things that are rooted in fear or insecurity.

4. Work at pruning away one dead branch at a time.

Taking time to recalibrate in winter can ready you for spring and the new life God wants to bring to you.

APPLICATION: Dr Merry Lin’s book, “The Fully Lived Life” is a good starting point. Its available on Amazon.


Dr. Merry Lin is a registered clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience in counseling individuals, couples, and families on a variety of personal issues. She specializes in helping people overcome depression, anxiety and fear, abuse and trauma, stress, grief, marital and relationship struggles, parenting and family issues, and other life stressors. Dr Lin. Is the author of “The Fully Lived Life.” She is married with two children, and she is an active member of Carruthers Creek Community Church.


I write to inspire people to be real, grow an authentic faith in Jesus, enjoy healthy relationships and discover their life purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.

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Bob Jones

Author Bob Jones

Pastor at North Pointe Community Church for 27 years. Happily married to Jocelyn for 38 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vinnie; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three gorgeous daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love being a pastor and inspiring faith in Jesus through communicating, blogging, counseling and coaching. I enjoy running, reading, writing and ball hockey. Fan of the Esks and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers

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Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Cynthia says:

    I came from a tropical country 30 some years ago. I look at winter as necessary “pit stop” like sleep/rest time. For people who are extremely busy -30 makes them stop for a day or two. May not enjoy it, but certainly needed that “stop”. Thank you Jesus for working everything for our good.

  • bob jones says:

    My heart goes out to new Canadians who endure/embrace/enjoy? a -30 day as compared to their +30 days. 30 years in Canada is still not enough to erase memories of a tropical climate. Winter, eh?

  • Karen Simaeys says:

    this looks like an excellent guideline to follow I try to do a lot of reflection and try to be the best I can be but I really fail in journal-ling. on the times I do journal I seem to be more conscientious of how I am with others and on my behaviors though love the Lord always and know that Jesus loves me and is walking beside me at all times !! love this blog Pastor Bob

  • bob jones says:

    I’m glad you read about “The Fully Lived Life,” Karen. Dr Lin has a lot of good things to say. Stay aware of Jesus and keep trying to journal. God bless.

  • Jacquelyn Schafer says:

    This is awesome. Thanks for sharing.

  • bob jones says:

    You are welcome!

  • Patricia says:

    Wow, this is great. I love it. I’m doing better than I thought I was. It’s very encouraging and helpful. Thanks very much.

  • bob jones says:

    I’m glad you feel that way, Patricia. I hope you’ll share this info with your friends.

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