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loss Archives - Pointes of View

STREAKS

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Everyone knew except her. Tell tale signs that tears had trickled there. Companion “Everyone must think I’m foolish,” she imagined as she prepared her makeup for the day. It was easy to alter the appearance of her face – far easier than the condition of her heart. How could she expect anyone else to understand the intensity of her feelings? Wasn’t this depth of grief reserved only for the death of a family member? She was just a companion. But who else so patiently listened to her roll out the bitter disappointment and hurt? In the worst season of her life, simply talking to her at least made things tolerable. Cancer No judgment. No advice. No rejection. She just wagged…

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THE NORMAL THAT NEVER CAME

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The “first” first, was a hockey game in September 2014 and it wasn’t by any means welcomed. My daughter Shyla wore her dad’s jersey for warm up and I didn’t make it through the second period. The inaugural normal was even before the funeral and was followed by many unsought more. Recitals, hockey games, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and even a high school graduation all came and went without him. Alisha writes with a gentle vulnerability. If you allow her to, she’ll bring you along on a journey through the hardest time of her life. She helps me be a better pastor. I see life and faith through her eyes. Alisha became a single mom on September 18/2014 very suddenly. With…

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HONEY AND BETTS: HANNAH KAUP’S STORY

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Finding courage, strength and beauty in the midst of challenges is a life long journey of discovery. Hannah Kaup experienced surprising ways in which God brought these qualities into her life at just the right time and she is generously sharing those discoveries. This is a guest post from Hannah – a stay at home mom, wife to Matthew, mama to Annaliese and Abigail – and founder of Honey and Betts! As a young mom, wife and believer I have to be fearless in my faith and I try to spread the truth to many broken people. I’ve discovered that my timing and God’s timing are not the same, and it is my journey of my acceptance of that that I…

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SILVER DOG: THE LAST GOODBYE

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Their deaths gutted our world. Each one passed away as a result of cancer and died in our arms. The associated grief was surprisingly intense. It was so intense that I was embarrassed I could feel so deeply about pets – Tammy…Sprite…Silver. They were Goldens and like family. Is that normal? Is it healthy? Am I saying that pets are on par with people? Of course not. The Passing of a Pet Some people assume that pet loss shouldn’t hurt as much as human loss, or that it is somehow inappropriate to grieve for an animal. They may not understand because they don’t have a pet of their own, or because they are unable to appreciate the companionship and love…

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RELATIONSHIPS: WHAT WAS, WHAT IS, WHAT WILL BE

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On September 18, 2014, with only 57 minutes notice, my family as I knew it, died. Within an hour of CPR that failed, my four children lost their father, his parents lost their son, and I lost the relationship I was supposed to grow old in. The grief was so thick I couldn’t see through it. In the days that followed, I began to realize how much was missing and would be affected going forward. It wouldn’t be just George who would be grieved, there was so much more. It was all the relationships built along the way. Lost Relationships Each of the children had a unique relationship that was lost. Shyla no longer had Dad in the stands watching…

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ONE PROMISE, TWO SHOES AND LESSONS FOR A LIFETIME

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“You must be running for someone today.” At the halfway marker of a 10km Missions fundraiser, a volunteer observed the pair of running shoes hanging around my neck and made an astute guess. Kristen Fersovitch had been battling cancer for over 15 months when we had a conversation in her home. “When you’re stronger we’ll run together. I’ll try to keep up with you. Promise.” Kristen laughed. Cancer had drained Kristen of the energy to run but not her faith to believe for better days. She was as ferocious in her determination to get healthy as she was in her approach to everything else in life. She put her running shoes on her bedroom nightstand, right beside her Bible –…

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16 INSIGHTS ABOUT DEPRESSION AND LOSS

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When Matthew Warren died by suicide, Easter 2013, his parents’ hearts were shattered. He was only 27 years old. Rick and Kay Warren were known for a ministry of hope. How would they survive his tragic death? Where was hope now? The Warrens share some remarkable insights they learned and lived. 16 Insights 1. “I’d rather have all my questions unanswered and walk with God than not walk with God and have all my questions answered.” – Rick 2.  “I’m terrible but I’m OK. In other words, we’re going to survive and someday we’ll thrive again. It’s the worst thing that could ever happen.” – Kay 3.  “I’ve cried every single day since Matthew died, but that’s actually a good…

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6 STAGES OF GRIEF: RICK AND KAY WARREN

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Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church and author of “The Purpose Driven Life,” and his wife Kay, were devastated when their 27-year old son Matthew, committed suicide in April 2013. Matthew had suffered from depression all of his life. In September 2013 the Warrens gave their first public interview with CNN. Piers Morgan called it “one of the most moving interviews he conducted in my life.” The Warrens identified six stages of grief they experienced. Stage One: “I think the first stage is shock. For at least the first month, I kept waiting for Matthew to come in the door… I just couldn’t believe that it happened. It was so sudden.” Stage Two: Then you move from shock to sorrow…

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