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Grief Archives - Pointes of View

THE NORMAL THAT NEVER CAME

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The “first” first, was a hockey game in September 2014 and it wasn’t by any means welcomed. My daughter Shyla wore her dad’s jersey for warm up and I didn’t make it through the second period. The inaugural normal was even before the funeral and was followed by many unsought more. Recitals, hockey games, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and even a high school graduation all came and went without him. Alisha writes with a gentle vulnerability. If you allow her to, she’ll bring you along on a journey through the hardest time of her life. She helps me be a better pastor. I see life and faith through her eyes. Alisha became a single mom on September 18/2014 very suddenly. With…

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AN OPEN LETTER FROM A MOM: M.A.D.D.

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My life changed forever January 27, 2004. My son Ryan was twenty when he was killed by a drunk driver. Your heart knows a pain like no other. Burying your child is the most painful, unimaginable day you will ever endure. Something that is so wrong in so many ways. Your mind is a whirling blur, yet it is ever hopeful that at any moment now, you will awake and find that this is all a nightmare…a mother’s – a parent’s – worst nightmare. I’m grateful to my friend Jane Burak for writing this letter. The Burak and Jones families enjoyed cheering on our sons as teammates through elementary grades to senior high. We were devastated when a call came…

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HONEY AND BETTS: HANNAH KAUP’S STORY

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Finding courage, strength and beauty in the midst of challenges is a life long journey of discovery. Hannah Kaup experienced surprising ways in which God brought these qualities into her life at just the right time and she is generously sharing those discoveries. This is a guest post from Hannah – a stay at home mom, wife to Matthew, mama to Annaliese and Abigail – and founder of Honey and Betts! As a young mom, wife and believer I have to be fearless in my faith and I try to spread the truth to many broken people. I’ve discovered that my timing and God’s timing are not the same, and it is my journey of my acceptance of that that I…

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ALISHA’S STORY: 5-4-3-2-1

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Thank you Alisha Jans-Lemoine for this guest post. Your vulnerability and candor are courageous. 5..4..3..2..1.. The count down has started. It actually started 360 days ago, give or take a couple hours. Like the countdown on New Years Eve, there’s nothing to stop it. At midnight the ball drops, everyone sings and we start a new year of hope, promises and resolutions. It starts whether or not we want it to. But we can prepare for it, make plans and be more or less ready for when it arrives. No Warning My ball dropped almost 365 days ago with no countdown, no warning, no notice. I was unprepared in every sense of the word. I couldn’t prepare or sing or…

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SILVER DOG: THE LAST GOODBYE

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Their deaths gutted our world. Each one passed away as a result of cancer and died in our arms. The associated grief was surprisingly intense. It was so intense that I was embarrassed I could feel so deeply about pets – Tammy…Sprite…Silver. They were Goldens and like family. Is that normal? Is it healthy? Am I saying that pets are on par with people? Of course not. The Passing of a Pet Some people assume that pet loss shouldn’t hurt as much as human loss, or that it is somehow inappropriate to grieve for an animal. They may not understand because they don’t have a pet of their own, or because they are unable to appreciate the companionship and love…

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RELATIONSHIPS: WHAT WAS, WHAT IS, WHAT WILL BE

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On September 18, 2014, with only 57 minutes notice, my family as I knew it, died. Within an hour of CPR that failed, my four children lost their father, his parents lost their son, and I lost the relationship I was supposed to grow old in. The grief was so thick I couldn’t see through it. In the days that followed, I began to realize how much was missing and would be affected going forward. It wouldn’t be just George who would be grieved, there was so much more. It was all the relationships built along the way. Lost Relationships Each of the children had a unique relationship that was lost. Shyla no longer had Dad in the stands watching…

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RYDON HAROLD BOUCK’S STORY (UPDATED)

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Rydon’s parents believe in miracles. They watched their preemie son fight for his life with the aid of doctors and nurses in two hospitals and the prayers of family and friends each breath of the way. Now, the Bouck’s are like thousands of families from Fort McMurray, forced from their homes by a raging fire. Mother’s Day was supposed to be Rydon’s dedication in Ft Mac. Undaunted, the Bouck family with gather with their Family Christian Centre family and the North Pointe Community Church family to dedicate Rydon to a God who sees us through the fire. “Thanks again to everyone at North Pointe for your prayers and support. Words cannot describe how blessed we feel to have come so…

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Kay Warren: The First Christmas Without…

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My cousin Sharon died by suicide in April 2003. Her despair from a marriage that ended in divorce coupled with her decade long struggle with depression were too much for her to cope. Christmas 2003 for her surviving family was one in which her extended family left a lot to be desired. Looking back I am sure we dropped the ball. I wish I knew then what I learned by reading Kay Warren’s story about the first Christmas without her son, Matthew. THE FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT… Rick and Kay Warren’s son Matthew died by suicide in April 2013. Her mother’s heart says it all in this post about her first Christmas without Matthew. “Christmas 2013 was our family’s first without…

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LIVING WITHOUT JIM

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“My best friend was in heaven. And I was still on earth.” Sue Keddy chose those bittersweet words to begin the story of her husband, Jim’s, sudden death and her life without him. What unfolds is an inspiring, raw account of grief, faith and courage. She has my gratitude for sharing her journey. Sue’s story is personal for me. MARRIAGE, MINISTRY AND MISSIONS I attended Bible College with Jim Keddy for three years. His quit wit, winsome smile, artistic talent, gentle spirit and positive attitude won him the admiration and respect of classmates and profs, alike. Jim was our Student Council President. He married Sue Ozard, a pastor’s daughter, three months after I married Jocelyn. We graduated together a year…

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ONE PROMISE, TWO SHOES AND LESSONS FOR A LIFETIME

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“You must be running for someone today.” At the halfway marker of a 10km Missions fundraiser, a volunteer observed the pair of running shoes hanging around my neck and made an astute guess. Kristen Fersovitch had been battling cancer for over 15 months when we had a conversation in her home. “When you’re stronger we’ll run together. I’ll try to keep up with you. Promise.” Kristen laughed. Cancer had drained Kristen of the energy to run but not her faith to believe for better days. She was as ferocious in her determination to get healthy as she was in her approach to everything else in life. She put her running shoes on her bedroom nightstand, right beside her Bible –…

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