Thank you Alisha Jans-Lemoine for this guest post. Your vulnerability and candor are courageous.
The count down has started.
It actually started 360 days ago, give or take a couple hours.
Like the countdown on New Years Eve, there’s nothing to stop it. At midnight the ball drops, everyone sings and we start a new year of hope, promises and resolutions. It starts whether or not we want it to. But we can prepare for it, make plans and be more or less ready for when it arrives.
My ball dropped almost 365 days ago with no countdown, no warning, no notice. I was unprepared in every sense of the word. I couldn’t prepare or sing or kiss. There were no goodbyes or farewells, the ball just dropped.
The last (almost) year has been a rollercoaster.
We’ve had good days and happy moments.
Moments of pride and moments of remembrance.
We’ve also had days that seemed like they wouldn’t end and days that were as dark as night.
The Last of the Firsts
This “first” marks the last of the “first’s”.
Maybe that’s why I have dug my heels in so hard the last few days hoping Friday won’t come. I first started missing you in terms of hours, then days, then weeks followed by months but I’m not ready to start missing you in terms of years.
When you left, I completely lost my sense of self, and I sure don’t have it all figured out yet. I’m still re-building…we all are.
I truly thought I would spend the rest of my life with you but it was you who spent the rest of yours with me.
I’m grateful for every moment our family had together and every memory we shared.
So as this week happens and goes by, I’m left still trying to piece back that broken ball that fell.
At least this time I have a warning, although it’s of no consequence.
Grief is not something you “get over” – you get through it.
Grieving seems endless but it’s not eternal.
Hold onto hope.
Hope is not wishful thinking. Hope is a confident expectation of future good.
Hope doesn’t make grief hurt less.
Hope keeps you from being swallowed by despair.
APPLICATION: Share Alisha’s story with people you know who have lost a loved one. Please leave a comment for Alisha below. Thank you. (Images and story shared with Alisha’s permission.)
I’m writing in order to help people grow their faith in Jesus, build strong relationships and make their leadership effective. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.
- Subscribe. I’ll put helpful content into your email box on Mondays and Thursdays, as well as upcoming events at North Pointe Community Church, Edmonton, Alberta.
- Follow on Twitter. I daily tweet info I think you’ll be interested in.
- Friend on Facebook. If you “like” my page, let me know you found me here.
- Connect on Linkedin. I like this because it reminds me what people think I’m good at.