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3 THINGS I TOLD THE FATHER OF MY GRANDDAUGHTERS ABOUT PARENTING

By July 30, 2014 2 Comments

Slide1Our youngest son and his wife have blessed us with two gems – Quinn Marie and Lena Grace.

I am reminded of their middle names because I heard both being used during a family gathering. You know you’re in trouble when your mom or dad uses your full name, right?

My son asked me if I ever got impatient with him when he was little. The first thing I thought to say was, “I’m glad you don’t remember.”

Here’s what I actually said…

1. Parenting and impatience go hand-in-hand.

“It was disappointing to me when I felt impatient towards you and your brother.”

I thought I was patient. Parenting pointed out that I wasn’t.

The level of a child’s annoyance is strangely correlated to a parent’s fatigue and stress level. Overactive and tired children can grate on an already distressed parent’s nerves. They did on mine.

Pre-schoolers aren’t expected to have a lot of self-control, especially when they are tired. Expectations are much, much higher with parents, even when they are tired.

“Son, you don’t have to be perfect as a parent, just under control. God is good at helping parents develop self-control.

When life pushes you to your limit and you are hard pressed, what squeezes out will be how much of God’s love y2014-07-27 11.02.10ou’ve allowed in to your life.

2. Enjoy their childishness while you can.

Sooner than you know it or like it, they will be growing up, moving on and moving out. Childhood is a gift that parents can enjoy vicariously.

See your role as “Dad” as your highest calling. Your girls are a gift from God. They are more precious than anything that can be bought. Their formative time with you is relatively brief. Each day is precious. Don’t wish any day away because of your own dreams.

Love them.

Protect them.

Enjoy them.

As they age, be prepared to hold them while you let them go.

3. You are the most valuable male in your daughters’ lives.

You will show your daughters how a man should treat a woman by how you treat their mom and how you treat them.

Do everything you can to avoid sending them to events – take them.

Go to their swimming classes and ballet classes. Take them to church with you – don’t send them with their mom. Volunteer to be their coach in soccer. Show up at the school activity days. Watch movies they like.

Have a tea party at least once a week with them. Wear pink, if necessary (real fathers do).

Help them grow up knowing one thing – that they never have to earn your love. That you love them because they are yours. You will always be their biggest fan. In so doing you give them the best shot at understanding God’s kind of love for them.

Hug their mom in front of them. Kiss their mom in front of them. Open doors for her. Pull out a chair for her. Say good things about her in front of them. When things go sideways, let them hear you apologize. Help them feel comforted by the tone and temper of your voice.

You’ll be glad you did. I know, because I am your father.

APPLICATION: Are you a parent? What’s one thing love about parenting? Please leave a comment below.


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Bob Jones

Author Bob Jones

Pastor at North Pointe Community Church for 27 years. Happily married to Jocelyn for 38 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vinnie; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three gorgeous daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love being a pastor and inspiring faith in Jesus through communicating, blogging, counseling and coaching. I enjoy running, reading, writing and ball hockey. Fan of the Esks and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Anne Chung says:

    My late husband, Winston always had time for our 2 girls growing up. Now it’s those precious memories they hold dear to their hearts. He was the MVM in their lives!! Thank you Pastor Bob for your awesome advice to all parents & grandparents 😉

  • bob jones says:

    Winston was a wise father. Your daughters are blessed, Anne. Its a privilege to have a small role in their lives now.

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