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27 JUST IN TIME LINES FROM JOANNE GOODWIN

By July 30, 2017 7 Comments

My therapist said I have acute personality disorder. I was like, “I know, right?”

If you’ve met Joanne Goodwin you can hear her unforgettable voice in your head. It only takes once and she’s got you for life.

Dr Goodwin

Joanne dispenses medicine for your soul. She’s got a double PhD in joy and humor. Women and men across North America attribute their sanity to Joanne.

Her prescriptions have no side effects other than a sore gut from laughing.

She learned their secret the hard way.

Faith and Humor

After a lifelong battle with mood disorders, depression, and family crises, cancer became Joanne’s most recent opponent. In August 2016, she was diagnosed with colo-rectal cancer. She endured long weeks of radiation, surgery and chemo.

You guessed correctly if you imagined that she’s handling all of this with faith in God. And a giant dose of humor.

Joanne is a wife, mom, gramma, recording artist, author, pastor, communicator and friend. She’s proof that a cheerful heart is good medicine.

27 Of Joanne’s Finest


1. I’m doing ‘Angry Yoga’ tonight. It’s just lying on a mat and eating chocolate as I shout at my thighs.


2. I pointed to two old ladies sitting across the restaurant from us and told my friend “That’s us in 15 years”. She said, “That’s a mirror.”


3. Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won’t be allowed on this airline again.


4. Just tried a kids meal at McDonalds. Unfortunately, her dad chased me away before I got any of her fries.


5. After the hospital chemo, I get “chemo take out” for 3 days. They didn’t even ask if I wanted fries with it! Lousy take out place!


6. Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important.


7. I was sobbing and cried, “I can’t see you again. I won’t let you hurt me like this again!” My personal trainer sighed. “It was a sit-up. You did one sit up!”


8. Just once I’d like someone to call me “ma’am” without having to add “you need to calm down or we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”


9. I know you’re not supposed to hug the lady giving out samples at Costco, but the sausage she gave me had cheese inside. Cheese. In. Side. Yes.


10. If a woman asks you if she looks fat, it is not okay to just say “no.” You must also act completely surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.


11. I shout “PIZZA’S HERE” so the delivery guy doesn’t think I’m eating two pizzas by myself.


12. A cop just pulled me over and asked “do you know why I stopped you?” I said “because my FB statuses are so funny?” And then we laughed and laughed and high-fived and I’m in jail.


13. It’s fine to eat a “test” grape in the produce section but you take one bite of a rotisserie chicken and it’s all, “ma’am, you need to leave.”


14. I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.


15. If you can’t think of a word say “I forget the English word for it”. That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.


16. Joe doesn’t know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush.


17. I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald’s because fitness is a lifestyle.


18. I love Chinese food as much as the next guy, but you’ll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.


19. Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. I know that now.


20. Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 7.


21. Sometimes I pretend I’m picking up lunch for the whole family, even tho the KFC workers can clearly see me eating that bucket in their parking lot.


22. Current fitness level: my arm gave out while blow drying my hair.


23. We’ve all got that one family member who’s an embarrassment. This restraining order suggests my family’s settled on me.


24. I’ve always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X.


25. I just saw Joe get hit by a snow plow but in all fairness I have never driven one of these before.


26. I just finished a 5k. It took me 4 days and was filled with snacks and naps but at least I finished.


27. Yelling at me for warming the towels in the oven is NOT going to get the fire department here any faster!


APPLICATION: Got a favorite quote or three? Please leave a comment below and share them around. Follow Joanne on her Facebook page. 


I write to inspire people to be real, grow an authentic faith in Jesus, enjoy healthy relationships and discover their life purpose. If this material is helpful to you, please follow me.

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Bob Jones

Author Bob Jones

Pastor at North Pointe Community Church for 27 years. Happily married to Jocelyn for 38 years. We have two adult sons, Cory and his wife Lynsey and their son Vinnie; Jean Marc and his wife Angie and their three gorgeous daughters, Quinn, Lena and Annora. I love being a pastor and inspiring faith in Jesus through communicating, blogging, counseling and coaching. I enjoy running, reading, writing and ball hockey. Fan of the Esks and Pats. Follow me on Twitter @bobjones49ers

More posts by Bob Jones

Join the discussion 7 Comments

  • Tammy says:

    Thanks for the chuckles 🙂 You’re very inspiring.

  • Carole Schlachta says:

    Joanne your humor and your insight with God is beyond words.
    I thank you for them and I thank Good food bringing you into our lives.
    God bless you and heal you completely

  • Jim says:

    We love you and Jesus to the moon and back,

    Love aslways ,
    Jim, Charron and Philip

  • Johanna Stam says:

    I actually have 15 pages of Quips from Joanne–love her humor
    she is an amazing woman–May God continue to Bless Joanne with His gifts of words and humor!!!

  • Marlene Bergman says:

    What a joy to have your humorous thoughts here! It will be fun to share them with our friends. I think my favorite is # 15! Many hugs as you use your talents and joy for the Lord. LUV U.

  • Sandra Conley says:

    Love the humour. Love that you love God! Praying for your healing.

  • Bev Reilly says:

    I’m so glad that I found you here on FB. I have several of your Cd’s. Lent them to several people who benefited from them. You’re often on my mind. So sorry to hear about your bout with cancer. God Bless you and the work that you do. Met you in Belleville.

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